Groundhog Day

Urrrg Monday morning  7am alarm clock, get up, shower,dressed,breakfast then rush out of the door, to fight the early morning rush hour to work 8 maybe 9 hours in a boring job.

This is the day after day living for most of the world. Home, food, television, bed, ready to start the day over again and again. Groundhog day



For me and the rest of the chronically sick we have a different sort of groundhog day.

Now this isn't to start a pity party or a woe is me tale,  I can only tell you mine, and it may be the same or vastly different to yours but ......

It  usually starts around 3 am, that's if I have slept at all that night, sometimes I only wake up a few times before 3.
That's when the pain starts a dull aching nagging pain, which I toss and turn trying to ignore as I really don't want to wake my hubby up, he has such a long day ahead.

You see most of us with a chronic illness would rather keep quiet than to make life difficult or harder for our loved ones.
This is not being a martyr.  

We just would rather think about you than ourselves, and are so desperate to be "normal", that we will hide and cover our illness just to fool and distract ourselves by caring for you .

I manage to cope half dreaming half day dreaming for a few hours until the 5.30,/6.00am alarm goes off.

This is when I can stretch my really sore legs and arms, take a couple of pills , on some days a few more.

I kiss goodbye to my hubby as he rushes out on his way to fight the morning rush hour, hmmm now I need to sleep,
 "you have had all fooking night to sleep and you choose now great"
this is my morning grunt to myself.

If I haven't got an appointment,  I usually give in to my body and drift off to sleep again.

BIG mistake... huge!

Which I am usually lulled into making again and again. because every time I do this, I wake up in more pain, feel sick and have a headache.

 Don't get me wrong I have these anyway but to nap again, wow its 10 fold .

So my day begins regardless of an appointment or not. I gently sit up not moving more than I need to. and reach into my drawer for my medication case.

The  reason my pills are in my drawer are because for some reason, it makes me feel better not letting anyone see the amount of pills I take so I hide them like a pill addict.
I wont even take them in front of you because it will remind you I am sick.

 I get my medicine case, . It has all the days of the week on and am and pm, which along with a dressing gown and slippers, I got for Christmas

When I received this particular gift I hated it, again it reminded me I`m sick and it was like something old people use because they cant remember what they had for dinner.

Wake up call I can't remember what I had for dinner most days not to mention if Iv taken my morning pills.
So with great reluctance it is hidden away like my shopping trolley, used but never to be seen by my hubby.

 I now actually find the pill case is my godsend, even though sometimes I take my pills, refill the case, then can't remember if I've taken them because I have refilled it !!!

After taking pills, I then make my way to the bathroom.

Even though I`m lucky and have an on suit, it feels like walking miles in tin armor that is in dire need of oiling clunk clunk clunk.

 Once I have taken half an hour putting my slouchy clothes on, with so much ooohh and haaa noises, that I have to keep the bathroom window closed..... as the neighbors will think we have very noisy sex every morning....

second thoughts keep it open they may be impressed......



I then clunk my way to the kettle morning coffee hmmm......








I then spend sometime on the laptop procrastinating taking a shower,
For anyone with a chronic illness you will know that this is probably the most exhausting part of the day.

God bless Johnston facial wipes and dry shampoo for my bad days, the chronic illness survival pack must contain at least these two items.

After this exhausting event I then get breakfast, how much depends on how sick I feel.

 The decider then comes whether I can face shopping or whether I txt my hubby to pick it up on the way home.

Most days I decide to make the trek to the shops, and we all know how difficult that is, so I wont bore you with that saga again ( The Light keeper).

Again this isn't martyr ism, it is me just like most chronically ill folk,  pretending be a normal house wife/husband, a lifestyle choice, a choice that involves my best friend and hubby, going to work whilst I did the day to day chores.

Now before all the feminists yell and scream, I said I pretend, because the reality is I want to work, be a normal functioning partner that is an equal money earner.
Not to be able to be this or a " normal housewife" either is hard.

So as I say most days I push to do the shopping, on bad I make the call or txt.

The rest of my day will consist of, me doing my blog or page, or bad bad days laying napping in bed.
I then greet my hubby, ask how his day was, and like all of us down play how bad mine was.

Have tea ,which with any luck wont involve a brain fog induced visit from the fire brigade. However if this happens too frequently ..... maybe its just a perk

Watch television go to bed, ready to start the day over and over again. same ground hog just different day

 This is to give you a little insight into my day as a chronically sick person. So if you are sick it may be similar and it may give you some reassurance you're not alone.

 If you're a loved one of someone who is chronically ill, maybe it will just give you little insight into our day.