From being a very young age we are taught to respect our elders, respect our teachers respect authority and most of all to respect the medical profession. The doctors/consultants/surgeons "quite literally we put our lives in their hands" as my mum would like to say. The ones with all the answers to heal and mend us, but what if..
THEY DON'T HAVE A CLUE???
Every appointment I go in wide eyed and enthusiastic, hopeful that this time they will have the answers "the magic pill". Every time I come away let down and disappointed vowing I will never see that doctor again! Which of course I do, or I swap to another and go through the same roller coaster of emotions again and again.
Even worse if I swap as with every new doctor comes the look of horror when I list my conditions.
Its not just hope and disappointment that we can feel when dealing with the medical muggles ( The not chronically sick ) its fear and doubt, fear that they won't believe us, fear that they will think we are exaggerating our symptoms or drug seeking.
I even find myself praying that the they find something bad in my blood results, or in one of the many other tests I have to endure. In fact sometimes I think "OMG I have that Munchausen syndrome thing"
I even find myself praying that the they find something bad in my blood results, or in one of the many other tests I have to endure. In fact sometimes I think "OMG I have that Munchausen syndrome thing"
So much to this I find myself worrying when on a " good " day when I can walk a little faster than a snail, what if Dr Disney ( my consultant, and yes he is really called Disney) is driving past and sees me and thinks oh she is ok, she is walking fine, nothing wrong with her!
Now you may think this is a very odd thing to think, but only in Australia would this happen. Well infact it did, well as close to...
On a rare day I had arranged to meet a friend in a coffee shop near my home, I had seen a lady with two dogs on the field opposite playing a little too close to the road for my liking. So on seeing my friend sat at a table, I walked in telling her the story, not too loud but its a very small shop. I walked back two steps to the counter and I heard "hello" which I completely ignored as it would not be me, I don't know anyone.
( a brief explanation , I am from the UK and live in Australia )
Anyhow again I heard "hello" I turn round to see OMG Dr Disney. I then promptly turn bright red and waffle nonsense and find myself giving a not needed explanation as to why I was in the coffee shop like a guilty pupil being caught out by her teacher Arrrrg.
The other emotions we may come across whilst dealing with the medical muggles are emotional attachments or...
THE DR CRUSH!!!!
To my mind sometimes when we the chronically sick see more of our doctors or specialists than we do some of our own family and under such emotionally charged reasons. it is understandable we may form emotional attachments to the medical muggles. After all they see us at our worst, most vulnerable and may sometimes have mopped our tears. Again it is understandable that we feel that they see us more than a medical number they see US.
Now I don't mean this in any sexual context whats so ever. What I mean is we think they perhaps are our friend or confidant.
One example of this.. I swapped Dr`s for locality reasons, and I actually felt guilt and worry that I had upset him almost like I was cheating by seeing another. In reality he would have not noticed or bothered in the slightest as I was Just on patient in probably hundreds walking through his door!
What happens if your Dr is younger than your granny / grandad, has their own hair and is quite frankly a little bit cute???
Here comes the CRUSH. Still not a bad thing in my mind, I mean what's wrong with a little eye candy, little bit of the old butterflies when you have to go and face sometimes nasty procedures? NOTHING!
As long as you see it for what it is a little crush to see you through the horrible bits and nothing more then fill your boots you deserve it you go through enough
My crush is yep you probably guessed it ..
DR DISNEY
I let myself indulge in this crush as I feel its my minds way of helping me deal with what i'm going through, and besides I know he is too young for me, is happily married and sees me as nothing more than a medical number .... Oh yeah and I love my husband lol
It did also help me through a particularly difficult procedure, a camera was to be passed through a tube to my heart via my groin. To help get me through was coffee chats with my muggle girlfriend deciding what Disney character shave my lady garden into!!!
So my dear chronically fabulous and muggles thats just a little walk along my path of medical discovery. Sure I have more tales to tell and thoughts to voice but for now ..
lots of gentle hugs
chronically Jo
p.s you can also catch me at ..
https://www.facebook.com/pages/Chronic-illness-support/290993151091842
http://www.pinterest.com/chronic-illness-support/
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